Choosing the Right Size Wedding for YOU
Intro
A big decision that couples face when wedding planning is determining the size of their celebration. From backyard weddings to a party at Jay Gatsby’s residence, each option comes with its own pros and cons. This blog post will explore the different things to consider when choosing the size wedding that’s perfect for you :)
Before You Begin
Before you start anything, I recommend that you and your partner sit down and discuss what things are important to the two of you. What are your values, and how can you implement them into your wedding? Here are several questions to ask yourselves to better hone your wedding vision:
Do we want to be sustainable? Can we invest in a large celebration? How do we want the memories of this day captured? Do we want to party ‘till we’re purple? How important is the guests’ experience to us? Who are the people that are special to us? The list goes on
Backyard Weddings
Not to get political, but backyard/intimate weddings are my favorite type of wedding, and here’s why… They are oftentimes small, although there are exceptions, and I find that they give the couple more opportunity to put their time and money into things that are important to them, and, from my perspective, it results in them having a much more enjoyable wedding day. However, I am biased, so here are some other things to consider:
Cons
Limited Guest List: Saying yes to a more intimate wedding also means you’re saying no to certain people. This could leave some folks with hurt feelings or strained relationships.
FOMO: If couples have large social circles or are close with extended family members, they may worry that they’re missing out on celebrating with everyone.
Reduced Energy: Guest lists, big or small, can have an impact on the overall energy and atmosphere of the celebration. So, if you’re someone who wants to dance the night away, it may be difficult to fill the dance floor.
Pros
Intimacy: Fewer guests means more opportunities to connect with your people intimately. It creates space to share in each memorable moment with all your closest friends and family. Additionally, you won’t have to make small talk with “Uncle Charlie” whom you’ve seen twice in your life.
Budget-Friendly: These weddings usually come with a lower cost, which allows couples to put their money towards other things that are important to them, say, guest experience or potentially a luxurious honeymoon.
Flexibility: Curating a smaller wedding often gives you flexibility in venue selection, as there are lots more options for places that will accept, say, 20 people as opposed to 100. As such, you may not have to wait a year and a half to get married at a popular venue. It also allows you to book just about any catering company, as you probably won’t be restricted to a list of three catering vendors that all charge $40 per plate.
Personalization: With fewer guests, it gives you space to personalize things like decor, to nighttime festivities, to menus. For example, you could write personalized notes to all your guests and leave them on their seats at dinner.
“Average” Sized Weddings
This middle tier is typically what I see, which is why I labeled it “average.” There’s still space for intimacy like you get from smaller weddings, but some of the cracks are filled in a bit more. Couples and guests can still have a great experience with this style of wedding.
Cons
Cost: While these average-sized weddings may be more cost-friendly than large weddings, they still require a good deal of financial planning and investment. The biggest expenses oftentimes are venue, decor/florals, and catering.
Logistics: Although it’s still manageable, some logistical aspects are a step up from the backyard wedding scene. A common stressor is seating arrangements and guest concerns about accommodation or other travel needs if you have family or friends traveling from out of state.
Decision-Making: Couples may find themselves torn between what they want and what their guests want. This can lead to some difficult decisions and compromises.
Pros
Balance: Medium-sized weddings are a good balance between an intimate and an extravagant party. It allows couples to feel a sense of closeness while also getting to celebrate with a large group of people.
Variety: This middle-tiered experience gives you a multitude of options when it comes to venue selection, entertainment, and catering, hopefully creating opportunities for memorable experiences for you and your guests.
Social Dynamics: Average weddings offer tons of room for connecting with other guests. So whether your guests are re-kindling a friendship or pitching their latest soap opera idea to Cousin Charlie, there is much connection to be had amongst the wide variety of people.
Manageable: Planning a wedding this size is still an undertaking, but it is still very manageable, and you may not NEED (planners are still helpful) to hire a wedding planning team or day-of coordinator.
“My Big Fat Greek” Weddings
This type of wedding is meant for folks with so many friends or so much space that they don’t know what to do with it. These are the large, stereotypical Greek weddings where the cake is big and the party is bigger.
Con
Expense: From entertainment to venue rental to catering and desserts, My Big Fat Greek weddings can rack up costs quickly and require a sizeable budget to accommodate everything.
Logistics: Managing a wedding of this size requires meticulous planning either on your part or the part of a hired wedding coordinator, which I would recommend in all situations, but especially for a wedding this size.
Less Intimacy: With so many attendees, you may find yourself being stretched thin and miss out on deep connections with your guests. Perhaps you decide to focus on that intimacy, but then you miss out on other opportunities, like getting to “hit the Quan” or having all your friends freak out at how good you are at the “stanky leg.”
Pro
Celebration: Large weddings create space for couples to celebrate their love with their many friends and family members, get their groove on the dance floor, and get tagged in so many social media posts that they feel like they’re celebrities.
Inclusivity: With a big guest list, couples can invite just about everyone they know, minimizing the risk of someone feeling left out.
Grandeur: From chic venues to flying away in a helicopter at the end of the night, weddings like this provide the chance to create a truly memorable event that you and your guests will remember for a lifetime.
Entertainment: With more guests in attendance, there’s more of a reason to splurge on things like DJs, live bands, or other interactive experiences such as a donut wall or social media wall… you know, the cute ones with good lighting and everyone takes a picture in front of them and posts it on social media? You know.
I Bid You Adieu
Long story long, this is a deeply personal decision that may take you and your partner a while to figure out. Once again, I recommend that you sit down with your partner in advance to discuss what’s truly important to the two of you as individuals, as well as what’s important to you as a couple. By carefully assessing your values, any decision you make will be a great one because it’s what is most important to YOU.
Best of luck in your wedding planning endeavors -Ty :)
***Original idea and content by me, but writing help from:
OpenAI. (2024). ChatGPT (3.5) [Large language model]. https://chat.openai.com
